an open letter to mr. e. piece

Posted at 4:15 PM, May 28, 2007

dear mr. e. piece lurking in our room,

i felt you last night... on my feet. your icky ipis legs crawling up my leg, you fowl creature. you thought you can dance on my leg, did you? noooo... i shook you off, didn't i? i shook you off real good that you had to run away. when i asked my husband to turn on the lights, you hid. but you're so stupid, you came back and crawled on my hubby's shoulder. i almost woke the whole house up, thanks to you. i was so busy getting your worst nightmare, The Spray, that i wasn't able to see where you went. when i came back, hubby aka my-hero, was still looking for you. he was so disgruntled that i had to wake him up from his la-la land that he just HAD to KILL YOU. he knew that i wouldn't stop bugging him until i see YOUR DEAD BODY. lucky for you, he has a bad cough right now that he really can't bugspray the whole room. did you think of that? you must have thought that since he has a cough, he won't be able to use the spray because if he did, it will make him cough even more. wow. you think you're smart. but you're not!

but ron was able to spray a little all across the room. i bet YOU'RE the one who's coughing through the rest of the night. and since i was not able to see you totally dead, i had to sleep on the sofa... in the living room! hah! bet you can't get me when i'm all the way downstairs! especially when you're having a hard time breathing because of 'The Spray'! hah!

and in case you are able to survive 'The Spray', i will get you later... as soon as i get home from work... i will spray the room, turn it upside down, inside out until i see you lifeless.

better get ready... because at 2pm today, it's time for REVENGE.

from your unfriendly soon-to-be ex-roommate